Longish Walks: Pennine Way - Day 1: Edale to Crowden

Kirk Yetholme?

Off we go

To avoid the pink vomit monster we set off, by train, early with a secret plan to start walking that afternoon.

Big mistake.

Get Son walking and he’ll be too tired to be worried.

British Rail (I’ve been away a while) performed perfectly, but we still didn’t get to Edale until just after lunch. Lunch being bought in Sheffield railway station. A healthy diet – the key to success.

So much to his vomitless surprise we set off as soon as we got to Edale. Didn’t even stop for a beer.

But, the first day is a long day – and you need a long day to do it in, we discovered. Too late.

Up of course

Heedless, off we marched towards Jakub’s ladder, well one of the many Jakub’s ladders, the first climb of the day. Up to the boggy hell of Kinder Scout. The only problem being that it wasn’t there.

Missing!

Kidnapped!

Call the police!

Apparently, there had been a heat wave. A drought. No rain for weeks and record temperatures (Global Warming). The bogs, into which I had promised the family that they would sink were, apparently, on holiday. They had left a firm, springy bed of very dry peat at home.

Not at all as billed. A great disappointment they said.

Little do they know.

Technically, they should have been happy but the misery had been build up so much that we were all a bit disappointed.

And hot.

On the plus side the views were absolutely spectacular. On a good day, and today is a good day, the views can compare with anywhere in the world. We marched across a desert named Kinder Plateau – not many people can say that with absolutely no irony. Followed the plainly visible path straight to Kinder Downfall, a waterfall that falls up.

Get lost

Well, at least it falls up if there is any actual water and any actual wind. The other three were beginning to think that I had been lying all these year.

The Pennine Way, they were beginning to think, was a piece of piss.

Three of Us

The Pennine Way is now paved. Well, what should, theoretically, be the wet bits. Big thick stone slaps. Mile after mile. While the ribbon of stone looks ugly, it does protect the environment and allows views of what you came to see to the right and left. Just not so much forward and backwards. It also speeds things up.

It makes navigation – well … Dorothy and Toto-ish.

A bridge

However, the nice weather, the impossibility of getting lost and the paving stones didn’t make up for setting off after lunch. We eventually got to the campsite – in the dark – dehydrated – exhausted and had to put up tents while being attacked by swarms of kamikazi midges.

Forget insect repellent. Check

Luckily, the kind man opened the shop and sold us some food and laughed at us only a bit.